Week 8 – The Gal Staring Back

This has been one of the scariest weeks of my life. My mom had to go to the hospital, first time since my birth, and I was never so scared for her before. My mom does not like a fuss made about her, or accept help, or trust in doctors much. She has a big spirit and in her 20s she once escaped the hospital while there for a party – jumping out of a window!

But the hospital was 100% what she needed, and without going into further details, I know she appreciated everyone’s help – even if she couldn’t wait to go home. She is older and at first when she started to improve she was actually mad that I called for help for her. But I knew all along it was the right thing. I was anxious at first, when I called for help, but deep down, I knew it had to be done. Even if she didn’t like it, or me, for doing so.

My mom is a true warrior. She had a tough youth, lost her mom at age 7 to puerperal fever after childbirth, and her dad died behind the Berlin Wall of cancer in his 70s, and she didn’t see him much in his last years. Other tragedy touched her but she always moved on, always listening to her heart and inner voice. She doesn’t understand all the science we are learning in class, but she knows what is best for her, when she’s not so sick she can’t get out of bed to answer the door. Or the phone.

When she left the hospital, the staff told her no cab would take her home bc she had no money on her – when she was picked up by the emergency services, she had no chance to take a thing with her. And when I offered to organize for someone to bring her some things, and her wallet and purse, she vehemently refused. She happened to find some change in her jacket pocket and took a bus home. I am so sad the hospital told her this, because I know a cab driver would have walked her up to her place, in exchange for a nice tip for the extra service and the ride home. I know bc I’ve asked for similar help before. Instead, she walked home the block and a half from the bus stop. Because she was still weak, she took a long time. Once home she left a voicemail for me saying “so you see it worked” (I was very adamant about arranging help and money from here, all of which she rejected). No doubt I was more upset about it than she was, though she was to a degree too, because she didn’t even have a cellphone to call a cab for herself. The cool part is, her neighbor ran into her at the corner and helped her all the way back home to her apartment.

I am still worried for her as she really needs to accept help at home, she is getting older and less able to move around and I hope and pray with some time and several people ‘working’ on her she will come around.

No matter what, my mom is my biggest example of the gal in the glass…she has never cheated herself, and she can look herself straight in the eye. And more and more, so am I. God knows I wish I was in Germany right now and could give her a hug, or make her a meal. Or do anything else that might help….

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10 thoughts on “Week 8 – The Gal Staring Back

  1. Gloria Motley

    Great article. The Gal in the Glass also trains us to recognize the strength in others. Hope your Mom is better.

    Be Well.

  2. Monica Petersson

    I truly hope your mother will recover soon. I have too a mother that recently went to hospital and she doesn’t want any help either. You really feel helpless when she refuse any kind of help. Last spring did she have a heart attack/stroke and she was in her bed with strong pain for the whole day without calling for help (my sister lives five minutes walk from her).
    I think when you have parents that grow old and/or become ill you for sure start to ponder about life’s fragility and what matters most in life.
    Thank you for sharing!

  3. Danny Linkert

    Thanks for sharing Ilona!
    WOW! Jumping out of a window to go to a party!
    Your Mother sounds like a free spirited woman. My hat is off to her.
    Independence and pride can be a dangerous combo in later years.
    Thank God she has some good neighbours to keep an eye out.
    My prayers are with you.
    Peace be Her Journey.

    1. Ilona Post author

      Oh thank you all for your input and your prayers. It has been and still is not so easy….in fact I’m worried about her right now. Thanks for the prayers!!

  4. Gloria Britt

    Ilona! What a week you had! I thought mine was tough but absolutely nothing like yours. I send my prayers and love to your mom. She is pretty amazing and it sounds like she is living her life they way she prefers. I do hope she improves more each day.

  5. Amy Swift

    I have a dear friend just like your mother. He too is independent…he keeps going and amazing everyone. I see your mother in him. They give us heart failure but keep on pushing on. He is into truth and is one of the most honest people I know. What he did to me recently…I had mega computer problems and was hoping in case of a dire emergency to come over and borrow his computer. I called and called and called…no answer. You know the thoughts that ran through my head…very scary…what has happened to him now. I got him the next day and asked him what happened. He said, “You didn’t leave a message.” He doesn’t check his messages…LOL..he was fine!

  6. Ivonne

    I hope your mother recovers soon, and that you can feel more at peace about a support system for her over there. What a wonderful strong model she has been for you! Thank you for sharing your journey.


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