Week 8 – Freedom via (Self) Acceptance

“A negative attitude toward others can never bring me success”.

~ this is part of a sentence in one of our daily readings. This morning, reading this, this thought popped into my head: I’d like to add: a negative attitude toward myself can never bring me success.

I have been working on accepting myself for years now, and this week’s readings have gotten me to a still deeper understanding of my need to accept – and love – myself. I now feel so deeply and passionately about it that, to me, it’s key to everything. Perhaps that’s part of why I love reading the Girl in the Glass poem not just at night, but in the morning. I love the reminder to do my best each day, and that is Love Heart in Sandmuch easier as I love and accept myself. Not because it’s selfish but because when I do, I have much more to give – more positivity, love, courage, service energy. When I live life and serve from a place of love and acceptance of myself, I feel much freer, open – alive – than when I compare myself with others, or am critical of myself. This is what my heart said this morning.

It sounds so easy to hear or read or even write – much easier than living it. That’s why I am so grateful for this week because like I said above, I feel like I’ve reached a deeper level of understanding in this, like it’s becoming more a part of who I am. There’s more work to do on this front…or perhaps more ‘allowing’ of this beautiful truth to inform who I am and who I am becoming – I can be who I will to be. It’s a huge help in letting critical people that disagree with me for any reason bounce off me and not feel compelled to attempt to change their mind or even share my opinion – because my compass in life is my own internal world, the Source of all life and power – not what other people like and think or don’t think and like about anything, including me. This is incredibly freeing because when I live from this place, I don’t waste energy wishing for approval from others, or unimportant ‘things’ that family, friends, acquaintances, clients, strangers or the media – social or otherwise – may try to influence me to think I need, when I don’t. Like the latest tech toy, the biggest house, the newest car etc.

I definitely have spent way too long not living this way, wasting precious energy and time in negative thoughts about myself. One powerful way this happened? Growing up, I never had a good attitude toward what I looked and dressed like. So when I overheard a couple male high school classmates at a New Year’s Eve party, and they ridiculed my looks, it was, to my undeveloped self-confidence, the ultimate proof of my belief th1Wedding-Tony and Tracy 455at I was ugly, not good enough for any guy to like me. The amount of lost time and energy is staggering when I look back now. It led to years of either not dating, not enjoying dating, or liking guys who never liked me back, or not liking those that showed an interest in me because – I believed they were frauds. I wasn’t good enough. Whew.

It took more than 10 years to let go of all that mud and mire in my head, to believe differently, and it was really hard. But I did. And once I did, and started changing – my thoughts about myself, the way I dress, the way I feel about myself when I look in the mirror – I met my husband, who, thankfully, loves me, inside and out. And on my wedding day, I felt…dare I say it? Beautiful.

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11 thoughts on “Week 8 – Freedom via (Self) Acceptance

  1. Ilona Post author

    Oh Heather thanks so much. You are too kind, truly. I wish we could play “It’s a wonderful life”, so you could see the impact you are having on the world around you. I am so grateful to have entered that space…..

    Reply
  2. George Pauli

    Ilona, you are beautiful, remember that. as long as your mud is gone, you are living better than most people. you have learned this, we are all learning this in MKMMA, and your post is a good one, i have learned, and i will remember today.

    Peace!
    George

    Reply
  3. Jana

    Ilona, your post resonated so much with me. And then, I kept looking at your picture and was overjoyed to know that you can see yourself for who you truly are and not for whom others judged you in the past, which was only a reflection of themselves!
    You are beautiful and don’t let anyone ever tell you different!!!!

    Reply
    1. Ilona Post author

      Thanks, Jana. Definitely a big work in progress. I definitely spent many years wasting a lot of energy on negative judgments on myself. The hardest part was, I didn’t even realize I was doing that, truly. And thank you for kind words, too! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Carol Marsocci

    Ilona, what a beautiful post from a beautiful person inside and out. Chipping away that cement is so freeing and your writing can help so many!!! Enjoy your journey!!! Carol

    Reply
  5. Gerda Hekker

    Ilona you are beautifull at the inside and the outside, very lovely. It’s very nice you had your breakthrough and met your loving husband. Have a wonderful life together.

    Reply

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