Week 23 – Going deeper within

This week I’ve been doing searching my heart and mind a lot – and not just because I am craving and creating more stillness….I feel as if a lot of the lessons and readings have been ‘stewing’ in my brain, subconsciously and consciously.

Two simple examples….the practicing of not giving opinions is starting to enable me more and more to become aware of the lack of my need to comment on things like Facebook posts or even in conversations with certain people that seem upsetting to me, or negative, or whatever. I notice my whole self – mind/heart/body – have less of a response which I love because I am a “blue” and I often feel things and am also very sensitive in general. I can be OK with what people say just observing…..or am getting there more and more.

I also have had lots of practice these last few weeks – not always by choice – to remember that no one has responsibility for how I feel than me. Specifically, I notice how deep-seated my desire to please others, to be liked, has been. But I also notice, when that’s not the case (i.e. I am unable to please others), or when someone is not ‘there’ for me when I had hoped they’d be, it is getting easier – I am getting faster – to the point of realizing – “Person X may not like my decision, but that’s OK. I don’t need their approval.

P.S. I just went back to read my own week 22 blog. I had totally forgotten what I wrote “back then”, and that it was about a similar topic, in different circumstances. Now I realize, this people-pleasing ‘theme’ is bigger than I thought and showing up in different areas of my life. So grateful for that. 🙂

And now, time to go back and deeper within.

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3 thoughts on “Week 23 – Going deeper within

  1. Carol Marsocci

    Ilona, you have the tools to use for those day to day challenges that greet us on a daily basis. Observe and choose the tool-, you are nature’s greatest miracle. Enjoy, Carol

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