It’s been a strange week. My mom’s stitches were removed, and she has been diligent about taking blood pressure meds now, which she wasn’t before, but she still isn’t feeling great, and sadly, reverting back into some negativity which is hard for me to handle bc I have been so tired. Not that it’s ever easy.
This months scroll about the mastering of emotions and especially the part where he meets a potential client in anger have been quite encouraging in helping me think of my mom in a new light.
fact is she is scared of this new thing in her body and has to be careful still what she does. Plus I’ve had to start planning my return home as she is getting better, and I cannot stay forever though I must confess I have never felt this split in two Bc I wish I could stay though I also miss my husband and home and the life I want to create.
Sadly she still isn’t open at all to having help, not even twice a month, say, for going shopping which is hard for her. Right now I do nearly all of this and I wonder if maybe sometimes she forgets that I won’t be here forever.
I am quite concerned about her ability to plan things ahead and think about what she really needs. Until now she always did what she needed, and would get upset when I asked the neighbor to get her a couple groceries which he did happily/ this was after her hospital stay.
But I want to stay positive and focus on the things to be thankful for – like her miracle decision to get a pacemaker, and that she is now sleeping less during the day, seems to have more energy, even a little, despite her terrrible continuing back and knee pain from arthritis. And to feel a normal pulse again when I check it.
I have been plagued by worries about money bc the costs for the trip are adding up even w some support from my mom. And yet I want to trust at a deep, deep level that as I manifest my DMP more and focus again on building my business, I will be able to earn it back – and then some. Because clearly supporting my elderly mom in this way must be in harmony wth the Universe, right?