Week 10 – I always have a choice

This week, I hit a (little?) rough patch that clarified

  • I have more work to do on setting boundaries and controlling my emotions.
  • When you put your dreams or thoughts out there, not everyone will like it. And some will even criticize me. And that will be OK.

The cool part is, I seem to be more able to accept myself in this, in my weakness. After all, no earthly human is perfect right? I find comfort in that. This in itself is a new way of thinking for me.

So what happened….I have been sharing with a friend about taking this awesome class…..and she, unbeknownst to me, read my press release and when we chatted about it, asked me more questions about the class and ended up criticizing it. This is a friend who is an amazing woman, in so many ways. We don’t of course agree on everything, but that’s to be expected. She is on her own journey – a different one than me. But when she shared her thoughts, the way she shared them, about what I was doing – writing, even dreaming – I felt quite hurt. In fact, I started to cry, too. I was awfully embarrassed, but I failed at controlling my emotions. Perhaps it was partly because we chatted at the end of a long, crazy busy day and I was emotionally spent. So the gatekeeper to my internal world went AWOL.

By now, I am grateful for the lessons she taught me – not about her, but about me and my need to set better boundaries, so words like this bounce off me more. We are all on our own journey, and free to choose whatever path to walk on. They also verified what Mark shared in one of the webinars…. when we take responsibility, we will have critics. And I can love them anyway. I confess I didn’t expect this particular critic to appear in this form, but that’s OK. It doesn’t affect my life, my choices, my thoughts and intentions. Unless I let it….I have a choice about it, which ultimately means I have freedom. I see this so clearly now…one more reason to be thankful for this. I am intending that one day soon, this clarity will be more instant than it was this week.

Here’s to freedom and creating my new blueprint.

Here’s a great little song I was told about last November when Blue Sky Riders was on the Today Show. Kenny Loggins shared how a friend of his told him to “retire” rather than create a new band (BSR)…..this was his response. LOVE those lyrics….

(First Verse)
Who are you to tell me what I cant do-well that aint right
As if all Ive beens all Im ever gonna be for the rest of my life
You take the glory days, Ill take whats on its way
All I can do is believe in myself-if I listen to you I might as well

(CHORUS)
Leave me in the rain-send me out to sea
Lock me up in chains-throw away the key
The day I ever get too old to dream
Do you even have a heart-what good would that be
I may be walkin, talkin but it wont be me
The day I ever get too old to dream

(Second Verse)
In my heart I can still hear the drummin and I dance to the beat
I wanna be the one whos gonna follow the sun and trust the heat
These are the glory days-cant let em slip away
No one can tell me my best days are done-no one but meand if that day comes (back to chorus)

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6 thoughts on “Week 10 – I always have a choice

  1. Marea Adejuwon

    Ilona, You got it!!!! Only 5% of the people in the WORLD ever begin to think outside the box and make the CHOICE to get off the human rat race wheel. Be bold, be brave, be BEAUTIFUL!!! Let your light shine, and all is fine. Love you!!!!

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  2. Carol Marsocci

    Ilona, do you realize how many you will help by posting this blog? You have just been so open and shared what happens to most of us. Our friends want to protect us and simply do not understand what it is you are doing. Give her time as she sees you grow. As Mark J says when someone makes a comment on what you are doing say “thank you for caring about me” and change the subject. Smile and enjoy your journey! Carol

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