Category Archives: MKMMA

Week 17 – Carving out freedom

Another week without a phone, and I must say, it feels better and better. I will eventually replace it, but I’m amazed at how much freer I feel without it – especially in the car. Just like last week, only deeper…and along with all the readings, I feel like my brain is shifting more to freedom.

The not-being-able-to-check-email-anytime-while-out experience has led me to want to check my email for my business less, and my personal email too: no more than 5 times a day….for now. All my working life, I was always thinking of serving the customer, always being ‘right there’, dropping all I was doing if someone called/emailed/stopped by my desk/cashier’s station (in the case of my high school retail job). It’s part of my deep-seated people-pleasing nature. That costs a lot of energy and brain power.  More than I ever realized. I took everyone’s requests as urgent. Even though 90% of the time, they’re not. If I am available, great…but no need to drop everything else, all the time. Just to make sure a client gets an answer right away. It’s OK if some of them get an answer a few hours or even one day later. It’s not like I’m an ER physician!

Two other cool things from this week:

1. I’ve not checked business email after 7pm; I have this month’s awesome scroll to thank for that! 🙂

2. I participated in a Valentine’s day greeting card-making class – I haven’t done this in decades. All the shapes-creating, drawing, vision-board making is bringing a part of my creative brain back to life that’s been dormant all these years, it’s like something deep inside me is seeking expression. I don’t know all of what it is yet, but I can feel it deep in my heart – and I will keep listening.

SO exciting and freeing!

Here are 2 imperfect, fun samples of the cards I made:

Valday2 ValCard1

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Week 8 – Freedom via (Self) Acceptance

“A negative attitude toward others can never bring me success”.

~ this is part of a sentence in one of our daily readings. This morning, reading this, this thought popped into my head: I’d like to add: a negative attitude toward myself can never bring me success.

I have been working on accepting myself for years now, and this week’s readings have gotten me to a still deeper understanding of my need to accept – and love – myself. I now feel so deeply and passionately about it that, to me, it’s key to everything. Perhaps that’s part of why I love reading the Girl in the Glass poem not just at night, but in the morning. I love the reminder to do my best each day, and that is Love Heart in Sandmuch easier as I love and accept myself. Not because it’s selfish but because when I do, I have much more to give – more positivity, love, courage, service energy. When I live life and serve from a place of love and acceptance of myself, I feel much freer, open – alive – than when I compare myself with others, or am critical of myself. This is what my heart said this morning.

It sounds so easy to hear or read or even write – much easier than living it. That’s why I am so grateful for this week because like I said above, I feel like I’ve reached a deeper level of understanding in this, like it’s becoming more a part of who I am. There’s more work to do on this front…or perhaps more ‘allowing’ of this beautiful truth to inform who I am and who I am becoming – I can be who I will to be. It’s a huge help in letting critical people that disagree with me for any reason bounce off me and not feel compelled to attempt to change their mind or even share my opinion – because my compass in life is my own internal world, the Source of all life and power – not what other people like and think or don’t think and like about anything, including me. This is incredibly freeing because when I live from this place, I don’t waste energy wishing for approval from others, or unimportant ‘things’ that family, friends, acquaintances, clients, strangers or the media – social or otherwise – may try to influence me to think I need, when I don’t. Like the latest tech toy, the biggest house, the newest car etc.

I definitely have spent way too long not living this way, wasting precious energy and time in negative thoughts about myself. One powerful way this happened? Growing up, I never had a good attitude toward what I looked and dressed like. So when I overheard a couple male high school classmates at a New Year’s Eve party, and they ridiculed my looks, it was, to my undeveloped self-confidence, the ultimate proof of my belief th1Wedding-Tony and Tracy 455at I was ugly, not good enough for any guy to like me. The amount of lost time and energy is staggering when I look back now. It led to years of either not dating, not enjoying dating, or liking guys who never liked me back, or not liking those that showed an interest in me because – I believed they were frauds. I wasn’t good enough. Whew.

It took more than 10 years to let go of all that mud and mire in my head, to believe differently, and it was really hard. But I did. And once I did, and started changing – my thoughts about myself, the way I dress, the way I feel about myself when I look in the mirror – I met my husband, who, thankfully, loves me, inside and out. And on my wedding day, I felt…dare I say it? Beautiful.

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Week 6 – The Endless Possibilities of Attention

This week, I must confess I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, as I am still working on my press release and now the movie poster. I have always wanted to do one. I have lots of ideas but can’t seem to decide which shapes to attach to which goals. The old blueprint for sure – my tendency, which truly has become a habit, to always want to make sure everything is “perfect”, or “the best possible way”. I have decided on one shape – red for true health. Partly because I see a lot of red traffic lights in my parts of the world, so these will be great links to me from now on, as well as an invitation not to be seething at the local traffic (which sadly I still do at times). So now there are three left. I will pick them and move on

I’m also overwhelmed with the amount of opinions I have, each and every day. The exercise we’ve been asked to do – no unsolicited opinion giving in two weeks –brings home how much energy I spend on this. And on the flipside, how wonderfully freeing it can be not to do so, to withhold my thoughts, or opinions. Of course at times it’s extremely tempting to say something, and I still very often fail. And yet it feels really awesome to even be aware of what I am doing. As my childhood ballet teacher said, “Self awareness is the first step to improvement.”

This is another lesson from this week – how much of this opining I do a-u-t-o-m-a-t-i-c-a-l-l-y.

In fact, I do it to myself. More often than I realize, I’m sure. Here is one example: when I use a GPS, I get into this competition with myself. I see what the original destination time is and track how many extra minutes I needed to get to the destination. If I had to pick a totally embarrassing (not to mention useless) thing I am doing, this could be a winner. I am stopping it now. It’s a total waste of precious mental energy. So one of my personal goals for the week will be to put my mind in neutral more often…like my stick shift at a traffic light in the car.

I definitely want to use my mind for more inspiring thoughts. They are so powerful. That’s why these are my favorite quotes from this lesson:

6-18 The woman who looks within instead of without cannot fail to make use of the mighty forces which will eventually determine the course of his life and so bring her into vibration with all that is best, strongest and most desirable.

6-19 The possibilities of attention when properly directed are so startling that they would hardly appear credible to the uninitiated.

6-21 Focus this power through attention or concentration on any single purpose for any length of time and nothing becomes impossible.

I want to end this week with a quote from Deepak Chopra that has been a big inspiration – and in total alignment with what we are learning here. He says:

Every thought, feeling, and sensation in the mind sends a message to every cell in the body.

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Week 5 – Do It Now

This week, I have really noticed how the phrase “Do It Now” is starting to have an impact on me, even though there are so many others too. (as a side note, I have started to sing the phrase to myself, when alone, and probably repeat it more than 100 times that way. It maybe sounds funny but I love it). I honestly, truly, deeply, believe that this is one of main ways I have been inspired to do some things I have been putting off in the last week alone. Things that I would think about but not really take action on, for whatever reason – lack of time, lack of motivation, or even lack of ‘importance’ or urgency. And yes, when I would come across those ‘things’, whether in my mind as thoughts or physically, such as the furniture in storage I have been meaning to get rid of, I’d be like, “oh, I’ll do it later”. Well, no more! I have once again the deep desire to take care of these things, get them done, so they are out of my mind, and I can forget them in the best way because they are well, done!

One of the highlights of my week has been working with Heather to create my new hosted blog has been amazing. In fact, she’s been so awesome, I am now internally totally revamping the site I use for my personal bus.iness. It’s a lot of things to think and create, but it feels great to do it – and do it now! I love that.

That’s all I really feel compelled to share this week. Probably at least in part because I’ve got some things to do…now! 🙂

P.S. I must say I’m really starting to enjoy doing this weekly blogging exercise. I still feel a little uncomfortable at times to “put myself out there”, but it’s getting easier. It’s great practice too, to just do it. I have come to realize, I over-think even writing these blogs…..whew. I will say, I am totally enjoying reading others’ blogs and knowing we are all going through this together. So neat!

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Week 4 – Seek the Silence

These last two weeks have been so deeply resonating with me. It’s like my innermost being is singing along saying “Yes, this is true! I want this to be true for myself, I want to live this out every single day and create the life of my dreams.”

This week, the most important words for me are these:

4-23 “The essence and soul of all things is spiritual and the spiritual is real, because it is the life of all there is”

4-25 “Over-work or over-play or over-bodily activity of any kind produces conditions of mental apathy and stagnation which makes it impossible to do the more important work which results in a realization of conscious power. We should, therefore, seek the Silence frequently. Power comes through repose; it is in the Silence that we can be still, and when we are still, we can think, and thought is the secret of all attainment.”

“There is nothing truer than that the quality of thought which we entertain correlates certain externals in the outside world. This is the Law from which there is no escape.” Wilmans

Wow. Aren’t these words amazing?

All my life, I have easily overworked….maybe not over-played, but definitely overworked, and certainly was super active, even though I have also been learning over the last decade or so the deep need for my body and mind to rest, to do less, to work smarter, not harder. Of course, it goes along with my nature to be sort of – well, controlling, always making sure everything is ‘just right’, because that’s how I was raised – work hard, do the right thing always and don’t stop till it’s – well, perfect. I remember even in high school telling my mom I’d rather study for a test than go shopping with her.

The last several years too I have really learned to appreciate the treasure and mystery of silence, and how life-giving it is. Years ago, when healing from heavy metal toxicity, my acupuncturist told me, “Stillness is great for the kidneys”. That encouraged me even more to seek silence, and I adore the encouragement in our text to seek the Silence frequently.

And also, to do less – and accomplish more, in the words of one of my favorite meditation teachers, Deepak Chopra.

This became more real to me in my bus.iness, this week. How? One day this week while sitting in silence, a thought hit me. And so I hired the amazing, wonderfully gifted and brilliant Heather to help me bring my website and blog into the 21st century. For the longest time I’ve said, “I need to do something with my website”, but never took time to figure it out myself (which is what I usually do!)– there are always other things to do – in my home life or business, serving clients etc. – that it just keeps sitting there, looking not very pretty, in my mind. So this week I took the plunge and I couldn’t be happier. I had a great conversation with Heather too and I felt totally aligned with everything she said. I feel utterly grateful. Even though I have no idea what the new blog and website will look like, I already know, in my heart, it’s going to be great. And it will help me reach more people and share my passion through it. Doing less and accomplishing more can feel so great, especially when I ‘let go’ and allow myself to receive the help and expertise I need.

Here’s to seeking more silence….

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Week 3 – Law of Relaxation…for our bedroom

So this week, the Law of Relaxation really hit home for me. It resonates so much that I want to share it here:

“Mental effort defeats itself ~ exactly the opposite of physical effort. A relaxed, calm state of mind is the only doorway to progress mentally. Relaxation of thought is the only access to Infinite Intelligence.”

This really hit home because over the last several months, I’ve tried to figure out in my head what would be the simplest, most minimal way to create a perfectly pitch dark bedroom in the house we moved into. It’s been a challenge because we have skylights, it’s a pretty small room and our corner neighbors’ front garden light shines straight into our bedroom 24/7. It’s so strong it shines through the outside edges of the darkening blinds we put up – too bright for me. I kept thinking I’d have to put up curtains and rods to close off the edges too. And yet, I could never decide on which. So finally decided to stop thinking about it and just try a couple things. I went to a local store and a lovely lady named Lina, from Russia, helped me with 3 options. The second one worked perfectly. And for less than the price of 2 movie tickets, we now have a pitch-black bedroom – as long as the doors stay closed and without any more nails being used. After a few months of envisioning, I created exactly what I wanted not by overanalyzing and online research (LOL) but by letting go, trusting my gut I’d find a solution – let my intuition/subconscious take over. It really just ‘came’ to me (and I wish I did that, well, a few months ago). And it was amazing. I can definitely “use” this more often. I love sleeping in total darkness again. I totally crave the dark at night. My body does much better with it, that is I can train my body better to “go” to sleep: Getting to bed early and up early too is much easier, happens to be one my goals and is a part of my DMP, perhaps until it’s a consistent habit.

I also need to work on spending less time reading and researching stuff on the internet…and especially since @lazynetworker’s encouragement to spend less time on the internet and watching TV, too – one of my favorites, for sure! 🙂

I also find it funny how inspiration and perhaps confirmation comes from all kinds of places these days – confirmation that what we are learning is truly true. Here is a quote emailed to me this week from one of my favorite authors, Dr. Henry Cloud. Like the MKMMA, it totally resonates with me:

Most people look for a better life “on the outside.”  Those who focus on developing the “insides” build greater lives on the outside.  Grow!

Which I now have to get back to doing…..

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Week 2 – Discovering the Laws of Nature

Note: this post got much longer than I expected or planned. I have decided to publish it anyway, because even if no one else will read it, one year from now I want to go back to these posts and re-read them.

So this week we were to revise the DMP and figure out our two personal pivotal needs, or PPNs, of 7 total. I felt drawn right away to a pair of two – autonomy or liberty and Recognition for Creative Expression or True Health. During the exercise in the webinar, I ‘landed’ on liberty and True Health. Later when I sat down to rewrite my DMP in light of the 2 PPNs, I went to read it once, just to see how or where I could ‘weave’ them in. And in reading it, I realized that at least IMHO, I already had liberty and true health expressed in it already. It was actually quite amazing to see that.

I will say that I also feel Recognition of Creative Expression is a big part of me, largely because I have always loved photography, making gifts using my pictures, or having the pictures be gifts themselves or other little things…like interior decorating, which is becoming a new hobby, or sort of necessity, with a recent move and the need to “let go” of a lot of previous belongings…..and yet I feel deep in my heart that the two I resonate with most are Liberty and True Health. Perhaps next week I’ll feel differently – we shall see.

I want to comment on one thing – I really totally love the webinars, Sundays and Mondays too. I will even say, I love the Monday one the most, because it is slow, and that is where I am at the moment…..and that is OK. I am very thankful we have the replay to go back. I feel that some of the things we are learning are already sinking deeper. I’m not sure how good a job I’m doing with saying Do it Now 25 times a day…..I am more like singing it, when no one is around. It’s kind of funny. The other day, when I decided to finally invest in curtains and rods – which I’ll need to get new – I said to myself, “just do it now. Don’t wait anymore. Just get something. It’s just a curtain and a rod so you can have your beloved pitch dark bedroom back.” And it felt quite freeing, I must say.

I do push back the feeling of overwhelm, and thankfully everything is starting to feel a bit more naturally than last week, and I look forward to continuing that. Above all, I feel a deep sense of peace that this is right for me, and what we are learning is a deep truth. This path, this Mastermind, this education, I resonate with it. Going to Hawaii is a dream too. Meeting people also on this path would be very cool! I’ve also really been enjoying the meditation/sitting still. It’s just been feeling really good and I sense a cumulative effect from it somehow…and feel much calmer when I am done than from a regular meditation. Perhaps because the desire to remain still is so big, I focus more easily on observing the breath.

For this week’s quote, this really touched me:

Our difficulties are largely due to confused ideas and ignorance of our true interests. The great task is to discover the laws of nature to which we are to adjust ourselves. Clear thinking and moral insight are, therefore, of incalculable value. All processes, even those of thought, rest on solid foundations.

LOVE that. As a kid I was quite in tune with nature. Then, as an adult, especially after finishing grad school, I was not. And totally lost in cement, literally and figuratively. Working in a high rise, cut off from the natural rhythms of the day, of natural light yet deep inside always longing for it. I also was part of the rat race, feeling like I have to follow what “they” say. That’s another thing that really resonated with me when Mark talked about it in the webinar – people generally are taught to live a mediocre life. Well, I want to live an extraordinary life, in my own way, a la Frank Sinatra. Though I already have in a way – just totally not the way I expected to.

The last several years, and especially since leaving Corporate America, I have really re-discovered my deep need to live in tune with nature. To learn and obey its laws. Perhaps that’s why the quote resonates so deeply. One special dog has been an extraordinary teacher in this. She lives in the mountains, was abandoned by her original owner, and now has found joy in living between two homes. She has had to learn to trust people, to allow them to touch her, or even get close to her physically.

When it comes to taking care of herself, or what she wants out of life, so to speak, she knows what’s best for her – running around a lot, as much as she can, grounding herself a lot on the earth to absorb life-giving electrons, intuitively. She is ready to sleep with sundown and bounces outside as soon as the sun comes up – unless it rains hard, in which case she decides to just chill and relax on a comfy, dry doggie bed by the window.

She also will jump into the local stream – no matter the temperature, to lie in it and drink in the water and find sticks for you to toss back at her. She totally revels in the experience of it, just as much as running through the woods and fields to her heart’s content. It is an amazing, life-giving experience to watch her. It is her definite major purpose to fully enjoy being who she is, and who she was made to be. And that clearly includes being a definite major joy and treasure….to me and all who know her.                                .IMG_2832 🙂

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